Truth #18: He causes me to stand on the heights.
I was so afraid of telling my husband. He would ask me very pointed questions and I would talk in code or flat-out lie, because that is all I knew to do.
We kept talking in circles, and I finally asked him if there was anything I could say that would help. He replied, “I guess just talk to the counselor. She will have better answers than me. We can just co-exist until you get through this.”
When he said that it hit me. We are co-existing now in the bubble of the BIG lie. I didn’t want to co-exist anymore.
This verse and reading Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard gave me a vision of climbing a mountain to heal. I knew God was going to get me to the top, and show me where to step. He was not going to let me fall.
This mountain to healing was steep, and there were cliffs, rocks and jagged edges. Along the way I would have many cuts and bruises. Who would be there to help me bandage my wounds or keep me warm on those icy cold nights? I didn’t want to be alone in the pounding thunder storms and mudslides, and I also wanted someone to witness the beauty of the most amazing flowers, streams, sunrises, waterfalls and rainbows with me. Maybe it would be good to hear him say, “Keep going. You can do this!”
I longed for the day that I would make it to the top of that healing mountain to witness the beauty and bright light of God’s majesty.
I wanted my husband to climb the mountain with me. If I had to go into a dark ominous cave by myself, at least he would be aware of it and could wait for me to come out.
If we continued to just co-exist, he wouldn’t get to experience and see what God was doing in my life to get me to the top. I didn’t want to go alone and then have him simply parachute in with safety gear and put his arm around me and say, “How are you?” and I reply, “I am fine, you?”
No! We can’t co-exist any longer.
I wanted him to be there. I wanted us to be one. I wanted to make it to the top of that mountain with him.
I decided to tell my husband.