So hard and lonely
Feels so alone
Like bombs are exploding
Missiles falling everywhere
Tornados spinning out of control
Hail pounding down
Walking through land mines
of a lifetime
And everyone else is oblivious
Snap out of it they say
What is wrong with you?
They just don’t know this war.
They have no idea.
I wrote this while on a very fun and relaxing vacation recently. I guess I was surprised at how I would see, hear, or smell something and it would take me back. One minute we are laughing and the next minute I am looking off remembering. Sometimes my heart would beat fast, and other times tears would fall. Past, Present, Future. The elevator with three floors, and sometimes I just never know when the door opens which floor I am walking on.
Several times, I was able to be quiet and read the Bible and it brought me much comfort. I finished the Abundance scripture art (www.remenderings.com) from a while back (see post on Lavish Love from March 13). Can I just tell you how perfect the timing was to visit those verses and have them minister to my soul?
The verses I started with were in Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 reflecting on God’s perfect timing. Just starting there I was encouraged because as I wrote out those verses I drew a heart beside vs. 3… a time to heal, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, and time to mourn and a time to dance. (present day dance = Zumba!) a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time for war and a time for peace. He has made everything beautiful in it’s time.
The very next verse was Isaiah 51:3 reflecting on the gift of God’s healing. The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins. He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
John 1:1 reflecting on the gift of God’s Word – In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.
John 14: 26 reflecting on the gift of the Holy Spirit and Truth
But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
Are you ready for this one?
1 Peter 1:6-8 (the images of tears, tissues and a memory book) reflecting on the Gift of Agony and Delay. In all this greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
This is also where I found Psalm 37:3-9 from my last post Trust, Be Still and Hope.
Just the timing alone for these and the other verses was a gift. As I think about those three floors, I have to trust Him to walk with me on the floors of the past. I have to be still in the present, listen for Him and follow Him on this journey. I have to hope in the future – for I know the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
You see, with His loving grace carrying me every step of the way….I am beginning to…